I could dedicate a whole 'nother blog to this.

So, somewhere in the midst of all my drinking and ranting and puppy-stalking, I'm supposed to be planning a wedding. For like, this coming winter or spring. Right. I don't even know when, let alone where. Not knowing the venue kind of makes it impossible to proceed with anything else. Um, anyway. Maybe I will start another blog for that. In the meantime I've just been looking at other people's blogs about weddings.

One of those blogs had a link to this very ridiculous site, True Bride Confessions. It's like the should-have-been-an-abortion bastard spawn of Overheard in New York and that reality TV show Bridezillas. Like the Overheard sites, it's somewhat addicting to read... but in contrast, the retardedness on True Bride Confessions, rather than being amusing, just makes me stare in horror and wish that the site enabled comments.

Oh, wait! I have my OWN blog and I can take these quotes out of context and diss the confessors to my heart's content!

My ring is .22 shy of a full carat.
That pisses me off so bad.
I'd be more worried about how you seem to be 22 billion brain cells shy of a functional human being.

Sometimes I wish I was still single....so I could be promiscuous.
Hey, if you want AIDS that badly just wait 'til he's out of town for a couple days!

I love my huge diamond. I get this little rush from looking at other womens rings and knowing that mine is better.
I get this little rush from reading your post and knowing that there will always be someone more pathetic than me, and it'll probably be you.

I have a 1.5 carat ring that is worth a luxury vehicle and I still want a bigger rock.
Damn, is your face that ugly?

Before you get married, ask yourself if you have screwed everyone you have EVER wanted. If you answered no, then it's not time for you to get married. TRUST ME!! Play the fied before you get married and start then. The same goes for your husband... or soon be husband.
"Of course I want to marry you, I just have to screw that guy I used to like first... Oh, and Antonio Banderas, and Johnny Depp, and the Mac guy in the Apple ads, and Stephen Colbert, and the guy on the X-files--not Mulder, the other guy, what was his name... damn... Skinner? No, that was the bald guy... You know, the cute Russian dude... Oh, and Scully, too... whatever happened to her? This is gonna take awhile. We better move back the date."

Well, responding to these is amusing enough. But I won't clutter up the page with this crap any more. I'm going to read the Overheard sites. Those are more frequently amusing.